My jaws were hurting from all the anxiety and stress held in there throughout the game and boy, was that a victory well deserved! I jumped, screamed and rolled in between, all by myself whilst watching yesterday’s world cup qualifier game between Sri Lanka and Bhutan. Whatever reactions I must have expressed certainly had a suiting remark from my daughter who looked up at me in the end and said “Mommy, are you a boy?” that had me think for a moment if that was the line I would have normally used on her.

I always thought someone would make me very proud one day, and on the stage when the world would cheer for him/her, his/her vote of thanks would contain the sentence somewhere that goes something like "I would like to thank my wife/sister/aunt/mom/grandma Kinga Choden for her constant support without which I would not be here today". The first person I had hoped this would come from was my husband when he was part of the music industry, which he quit before he even began a possibly great path. My several brothers, nieces and nephews gave me flickers of hope here and there but they all passed, because you see, boyhood/girlhood brings on strange behaviours  depending on a teenager's numerous seasons of love.

Lower Thimphu
The years have come and gone
Where I have stayed for thirty years and more
Once lined up with endless paddy fields
Where soaked in mud and barefooted
We hunted for dragonflies and tadpoles
And mercy was a knowledge ungained
Dragonflies, we detached their tails
And filled them with tiny twigs
We rejoiced at them faltering
To fly…
Tadpoles, we collected them
In our hands and jars
And watched them for eternity
Exulting at the massacre

I had a visitor yesterday; a friend I haven’t seen in a long time and we chatted up about his business after he quit his job. Strangely he revealed how happy he is being his own boss after he nearly went into depression in the job that he quit. He said he wasn’t the most laudable employee but that he wasn’t naturally insincere; he was made to be one, by the working environment he was in. His bosses despised him for it but they couldn’t simply lay him off because he knew too much and he was a threat to them.

“If you were suffering, why didn’t you ever expose them? How does it help to swallow your pride and compromise yourself for the wrong reasons” I asked